grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
