Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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