so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Randomize
