i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
