btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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