Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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