I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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