guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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