So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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