I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
