I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
