goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
