I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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