At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Someone shattered a urinal.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
