The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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