So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
