It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
