you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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