I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
