I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
