A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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