If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
