thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
