There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
