I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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