I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
