dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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