Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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