I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
