I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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