Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
