my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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