my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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