omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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