you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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