Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Alive.
So much puke
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
