My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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