she woke up with a sticky ear
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
