Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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