According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
