He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
