I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize