I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
