have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
