Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This is my gift to your gina
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
