Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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