I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
