but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize