I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
