My sheets look like a crime scene.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Who died my cat blue again?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
